Getting Pregnant by Creating a Healthy Mind!
There’s no doubt that fertility, conception, carrying, birthing and raising a healthy baby, all require a healthy body.
But did you know, a healthy mindset can also contribute?
We often hear the word creativity touted about. Sometimes it’s in the creationism vs. evolution disagreement! Other times it’s about making art and composing music, or choreographing a dance.
What is creativity, where are its boundaries and how does that help you in getting pregnant?
From where I’m standing, there’s nothing but creativity in every moment of your life! As you read, your body is busy creating building blocks of DNA, proteins and rejuvenating the cells of your body. Your intestinal lining alone is re-created every seven days! Isn’t that amazing creativity? When your netball club is seeking volunteers for a fund raiser and you put your name down for baking cakes, even though you hate baking….You just created that reality too!
Creating the Life for a Baby
There are two main points to contemplate in creating a life for your baby to come into….
1 – If a baby landed in your lap tomorrow, is your lifestyle set up for this?
2 – What are your background thoughts about pregnancy, birthing and child raising? How do these thoughts make you feel?
Creating a Baby Friendly Lifestyle!
Are you stressed out at work or working 60 hour weeks? Are you over-eating sugar, alcohol, caffeine, or under eating healthy fats and vegetables? Are you staying out late making the most of it before you’re pregnant? Is your relationship stable, supportive and happy? Do you have local female support people- be it reliable friends, sisters, group members, mum, aunty or in-laws?
Contemplate how baby friendly your answers are. If baby landed tomorrow, what would need to shift quickly? Here are some ideas:
If you are stressed at work then consider reducing your hours, approaching the manager about your workload and even shifting jobs to something more aligned with you. Any kind of long term stress can play havoc with your hormonal levels, possibly affecting fertility and chance of miscarriage. Do anything you can to minimize stress. Get massages, chat to friends, seek out your pleasures, whether it is yoga, movies, intimacy, books, dance, photography, animals etc. CREATE a life that looks more like the one you will need for baby to be raised in.
If your eating habits are a bit up the creek, then contemplate: would I want to be eating this though my pregnancy and whilst breastfeeding? You are what you eat; your baby will be what you eat. Get your blood sugars stabilized, and nutritional health topped up for at least 3 months before conceiving – you’re less likely to end up eating for 3 with a huge weight gain whilst pregnant, with less risk of gestational diabetes. What you eat now and later are the building blocks of your baby. CREATE the nutritional building blocks for a healthy baby.
If you’re playing the party girl then are you really helping your body to have the best hormonal balance? Late nights can affect melatonin levels which in turn affect sleep, inflammation (aka body stress), nutritional choices and estrogen levels. It’s definitely great to have fun and seek pleasure!! Just know how many nights a week this can really work out well for you…especially if there’s alcohol involved. CREATE a sleep pattern for optimal wellbeing.
If your relationship is feeling a little rocky then it’s time to talk honestly. During your period is a great time to consider the deeper aspects that need to be addressed, but save the talking for mid cycle when you will feel more emotionally robust. You and your guy can learn more about your cycle here. When you approach your Man, evening is the best time for most men to be receptive. Resist pushing for answers in this conversation, just introduce the topic (one at a time please, he doesn’t multi –emotional task like you!). Allow him to get to his man cave to consider his responses. His language and emotional brain centers aren’t as well wired as yours, so give him time if you want an honest, considered response. If you cannot sort it out between yourselves, then consider couples psychotherapy. A great psychotherapist has the knack of getting to the heart of both perspectives, and supporting you to understand each other for mutual solutions. If your fella doesn’t want to talk at all, or is abusive (emotional, verbal, psychological count too!) or refuses couples work…then seek psychotherapy on your own and come up with the answers yourself. Is it the right relationship? CREATE the ideal mutually supportive relationship, with helpful communication, for growing and having baby!
What about local support? You of course know the phrase “it takes a whole community to raise a baby”? If you do not feel supported in your current life, e.g., you don’t have enough emotional support, friends you can turn to, and people to help out when you’re sick…then turn it around now while you can. Once you have baby, you could get more isolated being a new mummy, unless you already have those supports in place. Some people even move to be nearer family before they have baby. What could be better than willing Babysitters, extra pairs of hands and hearts that want to nourish you?! CREATE a web of support locally.
Your Hidden Thoughts about Being a Mum
What comes up when you ask yourself……
- What will pregnancy be like – how will it affect my body, my friendships, our relationship, finances, emotions and sense of fun?
- What will my new life of being Mummy be like? Are you already dreading painful breastfeeding, missing nights out (freedom!), expecting strained relationship and emotional instability?
- Who are your happy healthy role models of Mums? Do you currently know any women who are raising kids who enjoy it? Who is taking it in their stride? Who are well supported by their partner, family and community?
Explore these questions and make notes. Use a journal to sort through your expectations of being a mum. If you find anything sticky and dreading in there, then that’s okay! It’s natural to be nervous! But if you’re expecting an emotional roller-coaster, to gain 30kg and feel fat- frumpy, to miss your workmates and friends and spend most of your time alone without any adult company, then take action now. CREATE a positive mindset by seeking positive role models.
And don’t forget! If you have a partner, do all of this with them as well! Your partner may be under stress or have hidden reservations about being a parent. Communicate, support, share, and expose vulnerabilities. Together you can create the life that is ready for your new life together!