Unexpected Lessons of the Stiff Cow
Are you looking in the right places for your life’s purpose to reveal itself? Have you ever run enthusiastically into a new endeavour only to discover it was not a good fit at all? The grass looked rich, green and juicy but it was actually a scorched, dried-up, spikey tuft of vegetation that a starving cow would happily choose rigor mortis over than eat. This is where you believed you “belong”, where you can finally become who you are meant to be, where you can sit back and metaphorically swing on the hammock of life, sipping a Pina Colada. At last, you have arrived! Then you discover, to your horror, that indeed you have not. Did the whole experience make you afraid to leave, to pick again, and to take risks? Did it rock your faith?
Why We Say We’re “Gutted” When Disappointment Strikes
Occasionally, those with a holistic or spiritual attitude to life are more sensitive to disappointment than those who do not share these attitudes. The latter have merely been kicked in the gut. The former, however, start out with a kick to the gut, quickly followed by having their entrails pulled out and dangled in front of them before the aforementioned intestines are hacked with a machete and politely returned to the cavity of the mid region, just below their solar plexus, where their stomach had once resided.
Another Retreat Anyone?
Disappointment is felt all the more acutely because you have been an excellent scholar of the laws of the Universe. If there were a talent showed called “The Universe’s Got Talent” you’d get top prize. But now, it feels like life has betrayed you. What was the point in:
- Reading 102,258.5 self-help books
- Going to India to yogically wrap your legs around your head
- Spending $108.3 billion on retreats and workshops
- Meditating for so long that your next of kin checked your pulse and rang for an ambulance, purchasing oracle cards with wisdom from the angels, druids, dragons, animals, fairies, ascended masters and dolphins
- Putting your kitchen where your bathroom was and your bedroom where your lawn mower was in an attempt at feng shui
- Wearing so many crystals and gemstones that you might appear on the periodic table of elements
- And finally, succumbing to the humiliation of having an old school rival (who you did not know was working at the local colonic irrigation facility) perform the necessaries because you felt a detox was essential?
So it is natural, when you throw yourself gung-ho into a new undertaking that you feel you’ve earned your stripes and natural that you are bitterly disappointed if it turns out other than how you had hoped it would.
I AM a Unicorn!
It could be that you are trying to squeeze a square peg into a round hole. To the Universe, you are always whole, perfect and brilliant. It could just be that you are trying to fit in and be someone that you are not. It could be that you are a unicorn in a field full of horses. This situation is perfect for someone else but that someone is not you – because you are a unicorn and not a horse.
In her beautifully honest journal piece, Bryonie Wise writes,
“You are a f***ing unicorn and all this time, you have been trying to be a horse. You very carefully hid your horn every time you stepped in the room, pretending that you were more horse like and able to do horse-like things but what you were really doing was repressing the best parts of you. …When you hide who you are, truly, madly, deeply, at the core of your being and try to fit into some other idea of you, you start to dull; you shine less.”
Show Me Your Horn, Baby!
So the next time you feel disappointment that something did not work out how you wanted, trust that perhaps in the bigger scheme of things, it was not going to serve you anyway. See if, in any way, you were compromising who you truly are in order to make it work. Step back, polish your horn, hold your unicorn head high and gracefully proceed doing what unicorns do best, for, as career transition expert Tama J. Kieves says,
“Give your talents to our world, no expectations. Use this life. Show up. Stop waiting for outside conditions. Everyone is awaiting your fire. Especially you!”