You wont find me at this kinda club again! My friend and I had the rare opportunity to go to a new club opening in Manhattan. I’m 30 and can count on one hand how many times I’ve been to anything resembling a club, so I rallied.
We left at midnight because apparently things are just getting started then. The place wasn’t crowded when we a arrived, but slowly filled to the max over the next hour.
We were with the right people and skipped the line. We were escorted to a complimentary “table” which consisted of a booth that could seat four extremely skinny people and a table that could occupy two ice buckets filled with champagne. My friend suspected that this “VIP Treatment” was likely a $300 value.
The women working were wearing the tiniest black dresses. They paraded around with open champagne bottles with sparklers attached to the top while the fog machine produced at full blast and crazy rotating LED lights blinded my eyes. I wish I had worn sunglasses.
Something I never appreciated about the bar scene is the loudness of the music. Even at 21 years old, it felt like way too much effort and energy to converse with another person when I feel like I’m inside the woofer. I start to feel bad about asking the person to repeat themselves that I just start guessing about what they must be saying until the conversation trails off. Then there’s nothing left to do but observe the room fill up with hopeful singletons, which is like watching an 8th grade dance on steroids.
This is what people look forward to. This concerns me. People wait their whole week to spend their Friday night at the club. To me, it just looked like yet another way to disconnect.
We tried to leave the way we came in and the bouncer yelled, “This isn’t the way out!” and motioned toward the other end of the club. I suddenly had a flash of the play, “No Exit.” Like I could be stuck in this purgatory forever. The journey to the other end was full of little encounters— butt brushes, liquid spills of every color, cruising, sloppiness galore.
Once we hit the open air, we decided to try a quieter, low key bar. The first try yielded very drunk men hitting on my very attractive friend as soon as we entered the establishment. We turned on our heels and left.
At the next place, we found two empty bar stools and took a seat. A large man to my right started to noticeably lean back into me. He turned around and I lightheartedly inquired, “I’m sorry, am I in your way?” And he replied, quite seriously, “Yes, actually, you are,” and returned to his conversation. So we got up and left.
By this point, I was feeling beat down and truly disappointed in human kind. If the encounters I had this evening are representative of the larger population currently residing in this world, what have we become? What are the majority of the people enjoying nightlife in NYC working towards? What are their goals, dreams and ambitions?
I feel like I don’t share much in common with these people. I’m creating resentment, insecurity and “otherness” in my own psyche. And this is totally my problem. Is there anything wrong with wanting to look hot, get dressed up, go out and dance and get drunk? Absolutely not. I do however take issue with strangers being straight up rude to other strangers. I didn’t witness any true happiness or joy, just lots of competition, greed, desperation and a need to fill a void. A lot of drowning of sorrows and sadness.
I don’t like that during the entire walk to the club, almost every single person, male and female, took no issue with blatantly checking out my friend and clearly judging her one way or the other. She wasn’t wearing anything revealing or particularly eye catching, but it was clear to me that people felt it was their right to look at her.
Teaching yoga feels like the absolute antithesis to an evening like this. Going to the club reminded me of how awesome my day to day is. I get to show up at a job where people are happy to see me, where judgment is left at the door and insecurities are transformed into empowerment through movement and breath. Who cares that I don’t have a lot of money. I feel gratitude in overwhelming abundance daily.
I want to say that everyone just needs a mindful practice in their life and we’ll see some healing, but I know that’s unrealistic. NYC nightlife is so specific and rare. You just need to be aware of where you’re going. Now I have a much better idea of where to find people that I can connect with so I go home feeling full and nourished, and it’s not at the club.
Yogasync Me! Stay in and do Yoga! Designed by Yogasync founder Al:
And if that’s too challenging, try this one suitable for beginners: